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Dear M o m m a !

its so much stuff that i cant exlain about you

all i know is that you do what you do but you definitly love me

growing up i realized you had less than nothing. I apologize a million times that i didnt do nothing when you where crying. Growing up I was the youngest and it was essential for me to not understand i never spoke, i never talked but i indeed had a plan. See this plan had nothing to do with money, nothing to do with books nor clothes.. my plan was to break this crycle of abluse and free alot of souls. See even though i was 10 and seeing my mom doing drugs or running out every night like i was sleep when my eyes where closed., Momma i was very smart for my age ma, when kids asked did i smoke i said hell no! my senior year in h.s, i took classes at PGCC and I earned a college credit "B" in psychology.i remember me using my skills and every explaination in the book for " behavior " why the ways are the ways between us, and even though you never asked what grade i received or didnt give any help, i found the answer. See through the veins of our families we are strong but we sure been though alot. grandma was adopted and been through alot of families. Alot of babies but indeed strong. See momma greatgrandma committed sucide and didnt even claim her. Grandma told me that she just kept talkin about her brother and thats all she knew. So grandma worked for everything she got and cries to this day when we ask her about it. She told me that she wasnt able to give you a great childhood but she is sorry. See Momma i may not understand why the help you got didnt work or why i cant seem to bond with you at the age of 18 , its something with that untouch love when i was young that everyone got but with me? it was unseen. My plan to break this curse this certain secret that tears my family apart has to come to a end, the new beginning is with me!. momma even though you was a fiend , you steal resemble a black queen for me. When i was hungry or even bored at times you would find a way to stop the hunger with $1.90 and find the free activities that we  would have fun at. im 18 Momma, see i cant go back in time to find time that we couldnt always share, see im in college and i dont do any more dares! I understand now you want to care and share now me and my 2 older brothers cant be there. so this makes you turn back to the dark vallyes of hell. We dont even act as a family anymore but i try my best to show you even though it seems low. I heared my older brother use to always call you when he had a bad dream and  hold your hand, something slipped now you and him live in seperate lands and me idk when it started but we at war and we hurt each other feelings without it showing. It seems like every word that comes out your mouth is a sense of deplore!, a critisim, a hard hit in my face so i fight back cause when you get hurt its like a reaction. who knows where we been at but Mikey he seems to understand it all!. I watched him all these years and he seems to understand you the most. Its like he been there done that and came back for more!. i think thats why im so close to him and i cant lie, when he use to put me out his room when he had company i would cry. He use to let me suck my thumb when everyone wrapped it up or give me anything jus because i would ask. ibet if he had .50 he would find a way to give me at least 3.... all this beef i wish it could end, until then i will stick to my plan to end the cylce.Just like 2 pac no matter what you are appreciated in 2010 im apprecitaed for everything thats in my life because Momma everything that happenand will happen to me shall make me Great.

Them Goals Bees A Must!

my new years goals and all; i try to keep it uncomparable. you know not the usual "Preserve water", "recycle more", " get better Goals".... The yadayada, day to day objectives.This year 2010, im going to keep it simple. 

"Strive by all means necessary" - better than the next and the rest by my own inner beings. reading when im staring ( i do that alot), cleaning while im on the phone( i do this alot too,lol) and i guess you can say double up my earning

"Open myself" - by doing this maybe i can learn more and do more. Its a crazy world out there and i needs to know what paths to take even if its dirty and creepy

" intern, jobs, and Volunteering" - building my leadership


its some i didnt mention because usually when i dont say it and just do it, it ends up being more on the top of my mind then in the back... the biggest one has to be listed to keep me going day to day

My blessings go to Haiti

LEOGANE, HAITI -- Townspeople say as many as 500 nuns, priests and students were crushed to death when the cream-colored walls of the Sainte Rose de Lima School collapsed in last Tuesday's earthquake, a disaster that destroyed the emotional and physical centerpiece of this city.

" its so much that can be explained from this tradegy that happen during my years, the pain, the apprehension, and the notknowing from all the families is unbearing. im sorry for the lost and my prayers goes to everyone there. Huurricane Katrina, our 911, and this earthquake makes me believe that life has its plans. im currently working on trying to help in my own way as possible. i hope things work out better for up and comming beings and god bless america..... truly"

                                                                                      - Micole Barnes
                                                                                         January 18th,2010

20010; Gimme My Clappp

God it feels good to be me in 2010.i thought high, i searched low. i analyzed the strongest man and tallest barbie( and you know damn well its not N.Minaj ) so i came up this brilliant idea.. i am blessed to be me( yea i know it could of been kind of obvious). this perspective i had on bad luck in my backpocket and haunting me has came to a end..I am human. i make mistakes and its only human enough for me to make more( dakota fanning type stuff) 20010 is here and i made it!.. me and my hard headiness, my tricks, and my lies and im here!...my lil buttbutt done alot of stuff and since im 18 enough is enough...lets see what happens in 20010.( i love sayin 20010 as you can see) .. frm 2009 makeup to break ups back to makeups, waking up late for classes, being bored just because i could be, sleeping the whole days, acting shady, dies, cries!, long relationships over the phone from jail!, everythingg!... im do done 2009, kiss my rear end!.. let see what my 20010 brings ( ill know by spring,lmao)

DALLAS -- A model on the November cover of Teen Vogue is a 19-year-old who reveals in the magazine that she is pregnant.


Jourdan Dunn is not visibly pregnant on the cover, and Teen Vogue Editor-in-Chief Amy Astley said the magazine didn't know about Dunn's pregnancy until after the photo shoot. But she said that editors didn't consider pulling the cover Dunn shares with fellow model Chanel Iman.
"Teen pregnancy is a difficult, real-life issue that Teen Vogue readers (with an average age of 18) are mature enough to be exposed to," Astley said in a statement. "Teen Vogue felt it was important to support, not punish, Jourdan Dunn, who contributed to a beautiful photo shoot and who will surely have an ongoing and successful career in fashion."
The cover has raised eyebrows among some parents, teens and advocates against teen pregnancy.
"There's no message to send to them that that's not OK. Maybe if she's on the cover to tell them 'Be careful,' that's one thing," said Catherine Essig, a 19-year-old sophomore at Dallas' Southern Methodist University, who was concerned about 15- and 16-year-old readers.
Many advocates said parents should use the cover as a way to talk to their kids about sex and the importance of planning pregnancies for the right moment in their lives.
"Teen parenting isn't glamorous, even if you are a teen model," said Valerie Huber, executive director of the National Abstinence Education Association.
A message left by The Associated Press at Dunn's New York City agency was not immediately returned. The London native told Teen Vogue that her unplanned pregnancy has been hard.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITqQUinKV-o&feature=player_embedded

guess who chose what! ♥

college moments: off duty. ♥

 my nails

i neva thought it would bee you that somone would had too go to a vigil light for. even though i was unable to make it, it was a sad sight to see!. i member the first day i met you when we boxed. David was mad that we were interacting more then me and him was. after that YU BECAME CRAZYY!,lol... you and woosa was a good couple to be quite honest. you were a teddy bear and she was a little barbie doll. NOW THAT YOU GONE YAZAMINE is going to live a tougher life. it was tough with you here but hearing that she couldnt keep her balance and was crying unconditionally at the vigil was sorrowful. i know how to use good diction and im feeling everything she is feeling based on experience. she loved you so much. i knew this becausewe played that tricked on you and she was so sorry that she did it. i though t it was funny. anyway imma help her keep tough because i know how she feeling so i can compare. i know that she is going to need alot of alone time momentarily because it jus them days when noone can help and all she can do it think and rething. and extra THI NK! since shes like a close cousin to me i know for a fact that shes all messed up in the head and feels alot of anger. we all gonna miss you. im gonna miss you because Yazamine still needs you and i can relate to her. RIP RYDELL

this my cousin by the wayy, yazamine. this is how she always lookin happy even at times where aint shit happy to be about,lol. i love you girl. i know i did after we could go through tribulations and un-calld for moments : and it built a stronger relationship for us. ily, woosa

My mistake, YOUR error! my AP literature teacher would always say: even though she was a bit wierd BUT smart she would say this. I forgot what date this was but sometime last month , it still look bad without the stitches because my skin is peeled off(UGGGH),lol my first experience of cutting my finger almost off .first and last to bee exact!. this hurted so much. my handwritting is FOREVER mess up because i use this hand and this particular finger. it EXTRA SLOPPY( see how i said EXTRA).

i think it was what? six stitches. A billion hours in the emergence room frm 12- 4 in the morning. i cried my heart of jus looking at it. i was feeling the pain of getting stitches before she even started. I WAS A BIG SUCKA!. lol... my richie rich was like " AWWW BABIE",lol...by the way this is richie rich!.=======>

lol,my boo i guess. anyway it was kinda amazing because i watched it healed daily. my finger will neva be the same again too. pitcha someone on jackass hurting themselves on purpse and its kinda cool!,lol... i didnt dso it on purpose but afta the stitching i was like cool!... i wouldnt do it again but first time for everything. THE END. wanna see it now? ask me and you will still bee amazed( only if you was amazed by what i just said,lol

LOOKatYOUR RECEIPT NEXT TIME MICOLE!!!

omg, i will never support these ppl again( uless i need somethin fast and in a hurry! ) XXI.. these people policies are rediculous!. i tried to take some of my clothes back SIMPLY because i spend too myuch on my band card and relly i was had to file bankruptcy with my dad.they they NEW policy is that on the receipt, you can only get store credit within 21 days!. i was mad because the man told me that i can return within 21 days BUT didnt say i would only get store credit,. that crap was a Blower!... i spent $159.00 on sweat pants and long sleeve shirts and it wasnt worth it at all!. i am currently in financial debt. i had to borrow money frm my dad AND had to work with him on a SUNDAY in our family business that we have called DATABARN solutions.

( more info pleese let me know we fix computers, laptops, and provide and can equipped any texhnology needed or that is broken = )......

 any way i was sooooo mad. that weeknd my grandmother gave me $100.00 which was spent to my tat and i had $300.00 frm my refund check. ALL BLOWN AWAY ON $%&* !!!!!..... i learned my lesson futurully but im still thinkin wtf was i thinkn. I blame it all on the trip to forever 21!

simply because of his Pros

well yes i am here. the one that walked into town,

you where looking straight and i made you turn around.

i was highly classified to be your new girl to be able to change your life,

i had shiny long hair and was all ready to be your wife!

i came smack at you like " where yu been all my life"??,

you respond " sometimes people walk past good things", im thinking because i was jus recently stabbed with a knife!.

yea, okay i was on my get bait status so i would texx you occasionally,

you would get mad , sad jump on your head when i didnt call or texx you faithfully.

so i got over my past relationships even though i never did to this day recover,

So the closer i got to you we was talkin and laughin., I EVEN MET YOUR MOTHER

the day you captured my heart and i began to committ was the day yu kissed me on my cheek,

you said call you when i got in so make sure i was safe after seeing "TAY NEW JOINT" and this made me like yu so deeper than the ocean, you snatched me off my feet!

i felt so alive again, so purified, so happy that i found you even when i gave up,

i was your girl and you was my dude, i knew the girls was goosin I DIDNT GIVE A FCUK,cause you where my luck.----

you where my ideal discription of a dude i could admire  through thickness and thin

i started to picture me havin your lastname, a house, giving fate, me being hurt?? NEVER AGAIN

my x that stabbed my in the back came back into my life and i forgave our downfall. He was yet a MAJOR pro in my life and rest in peace to my star -----

he  picked back up my heart again after this story fell apart

My dad met you, and sheesh i was shakin in my boots. He called you " the nappy head kid"

and hearing that from him i could tell he like you because the others he seem so disappointed

i remembered i was shy at time being around you ---

i would smile at everything you did and stare and you staring at the tv or taking of your socks,

its so crazy how i pitured so many things,HAA! to this day me being Mrs. Whitlock!

you was this certain book of numbers and answers and  i was this magaine with letters and questions. ---

As we put one and two together we had different aspects and disagreements.

you wondered why i would but one and two together and you would put 1 and a question together,

we started to argue over the littlest things such as what you do today and what you later.---

i would skip class and stay up late nights on school nights to talk to him jus because of my bond,

i loved him so much and i dont think he knew so all i culd give him was hugs to have a sense of belong.

i would play games, yes i would i would get on his nerves because i like when he showed anger to show that he cared about me and the things that brings,

He would start to treat me bad when i didnt do nuffing wrong and especially over the little things.

you expressed your anger alot more than love and i couldnt do anyhthing about this up and coming of us,

why happend, dont do this!, please, No! what can change this dark side, i got to know I must!

you wanted to be stricting and wanted just what you wanted, and i was this openminded carefree butterfly,

i was baby this and hunny that, i remember to this day me sleeping the opposite way to you on the bed sleeping still shy.

you wanted to capture me in a box and wouldnt let me express my wings but you favored me coming over everynight yes because yu loved me,

guess who came each and everytime not that bitch name yani!

i STILL wanted you badly. you did some terrible things to me like kick me out when it was snowing, put me out of your arms, push me away and say some things that would only hurt the kind of person that i am, But guess what i STILL wanted you.the calling me anything,callin me a B, I would still skip school to see you and have the audacity to spend my last money to get on the train,----

it was cold, snowy, lonly and i was bymyself. yes i was bymyslef because i felt the pain.

i felt the pain when i woke up 5 in the morning to catch a train out montgomory frm PG. that's two differnt end point on two different lines,---

you werent home and nowhere to be found you phone off and what!that brought out vigurous cries!

i act like it didnt faze me, because it was way past an addiction now. i didnt want no end relationship, no more kifes in my back, no lifes up side downs.

Everything is okay, it will change, i know it will. he dont mean to do that, he just hiding his feelings micole

 this person told me so many ideas that filled my head to think that he was my best solution,---

he feel off so many times But i love this guy. my mind had been wasted and was given pollution.

so it became a rollercoaster up and down and up and down. alot of cons and yes some pros,---

i payed attention to the pros so the cons was  untechnically gone. so them came about these codes.

the cousin that was at the time talking to my so called cousin had him talkin in codes. they joked, laughed, and carryed on.he had a baby, moved on.living his life with his babymotha, im still here hands open,----

 still mopping.

i dont know what happen to this day i suppose. My delusional ass still want him and im still paying attention to these pros.

mane my earth life wants him bad,badly, to the baddest simply because of his pros.

Im rather UnHuman I Must Say.

   sometimes you may see me happy and im mad as hell, and  sometimes you see me mad and im happy. whats understood dont got to bee explained, so im misunderstood should i explain?? people dont get " why her name is Micole" why cant it be Nicole. Well why she dont ever match and why her voice is do not normal. I heard why she has a mark on her face or how do she get along with everyone. They say things like why shes such a blonde and dont get things but she get good grades. Why do she have boy problems, is she self concious? for 9 months she gave Michelle pain, but now shes not even close to her. She wear hearts on her rings but dont seem to have one inside of her. Why she still have braces, why dont she like to be around others, why do she have 3rd persons perspective when we ask HER a question.Why is she quiet she you ask her a question or is there really a boy name polo she was really in a relationship??do she like boys and then when they get to close to her why do she want them to fall back?Them magazines that she make are for what:? Shes so skinny she dont even have no belly fat: THAT WHY SHE ALWAYS COLD!. lol, what( to everything she says). why would she take her glasses off when she didnt have no eyes where she come with these off ideas and questions that dont make sense?MY RESPONSE,they rather speculate before then really check : They never informate but always seem to just look at the pages before reading! thats wrong with these I WISH I COULD TELL YOU THE WAY I REALLY AM. iF I KNEW YOU WOULD KNOW; jUS KNOW THAT NORMAL PEOPLE RARLY MAKES HISTORYuneducated humans. i noticed you can be so close to me but yet so far from me. you could be my roomate and have no clue but yet lend opinions.hmmmmm with that being said :

The way i live nexx door to these people isnt the i live nexx door to these people. yu still dont understand?

Let me tell you you to bee specifc. someone may be the type to commit a fallacy or distribute a certain property because they want ABC or do it because people think of them as 123. I am the type to not think and do JUST to see the outcome of ABC, infer and to think how 234 person would do it too. `

, i DONT FAULT YOU, BUT F' U!. : no need to show a mad expression on ignorance, that makes it revernt.

VERA I HAVE YOUR WANG!. i love my grandmother Beatrice Henson, I am going to keep it straight like this; im in a state of transition, a well being for life and appreciation of my prettifulness. igive all respect to my grandma's for giving me life and a dedication of graditude to the both. im nothing without them.they worked harder then my mom and dad put together. Ms.Henson/Ms.Barnes made me who i am today. Micole Princess Henson-Barnes, Big Ups!.

Daphnie guniness: i can see me being her simply because she's hot.lol,In the mid-1980s, she lived in New York City with her sister Catherine Guinness, who was a companion of Andy Warhol. She married Spyros Niarchos, son of the Greek shipping billionaire Stavros Niarchos, in 1987 at the age of 19, but divorced in 1999 with a reported settlement of about 20 millions!!! ( woooowww) She
Guinness is prominent in the fashion world as a style icon, and journalist...
YOU HEAR ME JOURNALIST!

I was surprise to see her in these heels! i adore these heels and i would wear them to sleep in.The concept is to walk steady and fwd. I think that her as a 40 year older.

“Clothes don’t make a man, but clothes have got many a man a good job.”
- Herbert Harold Vreeland

July. I’m in Maui on a shoot with David LaChapelle. We’ve been shooting for 10 days straight. Sometimes twenty hour shoots in a day, from the deepest jungle to the volcanic cliffs, moving sets and equipment constantly. Working directly with the elements, the downpours, changing height and distances and moving the equipment has all been a challenge. The results are completely remarkable.

Causignac Marion

http://ferenc.biz/archives/french-make-up-artist-causignac-marion-interview/

This is where my my visions come from and my expectations to be able to dress on a whole different level. I preserve the million dollar shirts for the billion dollar freaks but i am aware of  special designs that are more ideal to my buget as a college student. I care more about my facial features than pricefull measures.

The Things You Say and The lessons You Learn

in life you have friends, heartbreaks, bestfriends, girlfriends/boyfriends, associates and if you lucky yu find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with which involves love. the life story of me wouldnt have no point if my sister didnt come in. There is noone I repeat noone that knows about my life as much as she does. We had times where we go back and forth telling each other secrets to see who would have the last words or having the last laughs. I never cryed so much to another than her. Shes like a structure in my bones to keep me walkin on the runway in front of everyone. She did more than me in so many ways and i did so much than her in so many different way so there no competence. We both are heading fwrd in life and she next to me holding my hand.

it started off when we met. Nothing kept us apart. Whenever i got in trouble my mom would always call her or knew she had something to do with it or when she would come up missing her dad would always hit me because i was never a good lier. I couldnt see me with out you Bae. so glad that we found each other; Im so happppyy babbbbyyy... it amazing how yu knock me off my feet. you know what makes me cry jus to be able to make me smile. Even though we act terrible to each other with the name callin and hitting and fighing and joaning, it all out of love and its how me show support for one another. learning that you dont need all teh friends in the world isnt nothing without them being there for you.i leaned that in so many ways the hard way was first, at the end you was last to stand shaking your head but didnt had to say anything because i remember to this day that if you not there, there are little who would bee.

The more that we have been apart since we diverged to face college i miss her the most everyday. If i only had one person to be around it would be you. My bestfriends and friends are there as well and not saying that their on the side but the you being the  

longest, the strongest, the dearest, the crazziest, the most that can speak for me if i was deaf to see for me if i was blind or walk for me if i was disabled , it would bee you.

 I love you Bianca.

Exuse me Dearly, iDdoneLostMy Mind

im a sooo sooo sorry. srry srry srry!!!!! i never mentioned how i left my two idealest inspirartors of all time. i know i probably mentioned kesh kumari and Raquel Reed, BUT i forgot my infamous kelis and remy- Ma!.... theyy all connect besides knowing each other, i rememble myself by them. Remy Ma most def has my savage side. im a fuckin lady but yu could Neva Play Me! vand kelis relationship, style, image, is witthin me. If you know me everyone knows how i had kesh kumari hair,lol... and i did look like her. WELLLL since she has a haircut now and i do too we look alike still but yu can tell the difference frm noses. Raquel Reed and Kesh mind concept on fashion attire is the same as mines like mines. kesh room was once like mines before i moved to college because the room was lookin like a closet and raquel reel clost looks like a clown threw up in it, and guess what!!,lol...im guessing yu gettin the pic and SO what it may sound clingy!, you have to start frm somewere and why not remembe the best of the F' in Best.

TIP: Use Bumble and Bumble's Styling Lotion on hair as a base to make it more workable, so you can create both a sleek crown and a gravity-defying tail.

This Years Hairstyle, " The shockwave". When i settle down i will bee getting this rite here. My style isnt really neat anyway, i usually use to wear my ponytails wild before my hairciut anyway. This is the newest fashionist style, given to you by me, cited by t.vogue.

My newest fav haircut : the hottest froom under the sun, frm me to yu simply from a fashion Junkie : cited T.Vogue